From Sparklers to Signatures

Today is my birthday, and I suddenly felt like digging into my birthday memories. Looking back, it made me smile at how my birthdays have quietly followed me around all these years. Sometimes ignored, sometimes awkward, and sometimes surprisingly sweet.

As a child, I always dreamed of celebrating my birthday in school. I imagined distributing chocolates to all the staff and feeling very important for one whole day. But life had other plans. My birthday always fell during the summer vacation, which meant I was at our farm. A few kind friends would send greeting cards, and those cards felt like treasures. But they would arrive at the only shop in our village, and I would usually receive them a week or two after my birthday.

Back then, life was wonderfully simple. We did not have electricity, television, or a landline phone, so birthdays passed quietly. There were no calls wishing me. There were no reminders, no notifications, and honestly, during vacation I never really checked the date, day or even the time. Every day felt the same and life moved at its pace.

Not store bought, but soul grown

One memory still makes me laugh and sigh at the same time. During one vacation, I had carefully kept aside two sparkler fireworks to light on my birthday. That was my grand celebration plan. Simple joys, right? So on my birthday morning, I remember waking up and praying that this year would be a great one. Funny how seriously I took it back then. I woke up all excited and asked my mum to bring my sparklers. That is when she casually told me that my birthday had already passed the previous day. I refused to believe her and was convinced she was bluffing. I went and checked the calendar, only to discover that she was right. I had missed my own birthday. I remember feeling sad and a little angry at my mum for not reminding me. Looking back now, it feels funny, but at that time it was a real heartbreak. Childhood tragedy, starring two sparklers and one forgotten date.

Another birthday that stayed with me happened at my mother’s ancestral house. Every year, her church feast fell on the same day as my birthday. Her brother got me a cake and some chocolates. I got to cut a cake, and for a child who rarely celebrated birthdays, that felt like winning a small lottery.

A gift that arrived ahead of time

Until I finished college, most of my birthdays were still spent at the farm. No celebration, no candles, just another ordinary day. Then life moved on, as it always does. When I started working, I celebrated a few birthdays with my roommates. But that was also a phase where I did not want to celebrate at all. I just wanted to be left alone. I even hid my birthday from Facebook and other social media platforms, as if my birthday and I had quietly agreed to keep a low profile.And yet, every year, I would still call home and remind my parents that it was my birthday and ask them to wish me. Some habits never change.

No hints, straight request

Then came the Corona days. We were all at home, and strangely, that was when I finally felt like celebrating. One particular year, I bought a cake for myself. I placed it on the table and sang Happy Birthday to myself. My mother and brother were in the same room, busy with their own things, and there I was, happily cutting my own cake. It sounds a little funny now, and honestly, it was. But it was also a quiet moment of choosing joy for myself.

Today again, being my birthday, I had a fair idea of how the day would turn out. I was prepared for it, had accepted it, and was perfectly content with it. A couple of friends wished me. I even messaged a few friends myself, told them it was my birthday, and confidently demanded wishes. Only from the ones with whom I can truly be myself.

No shame in asking for what you deserve

And today, on my birthday, when I decided to choose joy for myself, something unexpected happened.

I told my mother very confidently that I was going to celebrate my birthday and step out to get a cake for myself. I was fully prepared for another quiet celebration. But to my surprise, Peter and Cynthia arrived at my door with their son, smiling like they had just completed a secret mission. Cynthia brought homemade food, knowing very well how much I love her cooking. They came with gifts, warmth, and laughter, and reminded me that sometimes people show up for you in the most beautiful and unexpected ways. Honestly, that feels like an upgrade.

Because friends know best

Some people grew up with balloons, grand birthday parties, and surprise celebrations. Some had dramatic countdowns and flashy posts on social media. But I grew up with farms, greeting cards, and two sparklers that never got their big moment. Life has a sense of humor, though. Now birthdays still arrive quietly, but they bring better gifts, like people who show up with food and surprises. And this year, on my b’day, I even got to sign on a property deed as a witness. Clearly, adulthood has officially arrived when your birthday celebration includes legal documents.

The Friend I Found Through a Facebook Scroll

I have this habit of reading good articles and admiring people who have a way with words. The kind of writers who can take everyday thoughts and shape them beautifully.

Back when I was in Chennai, I stayed in Velachery. It was close to IIT Madras, and our church had students from IIT attending Sunday mass. A few of them had become friends overtime. One day, while scrolling through Facebook, I came across some friend suggestions. Most of them were IIT students, probably because of the mutual connections.

Like many of us do, I started clicking through the profiles out of curiosity. One of them was a guy (let us call him X) who used to come to my church and was studying at IIT. I was going through the posts on his wall and one particular post caught my eye. It was a thoughtful post about how someone had helped him prepare for exams and crack the GATE exam. The tone, the language, the flow, the feel, everything about that post felt different. That post led me to search for the author, and that search brought me to Sreedish.

It all began with this post. The one that made me follow him and changed everything.

He was also from IIT, though not from the Madras campus. The post I had stumbled upon was one of his ‘signature Saturday drunk reflections’, written with the perfect mix of humour and insight. I kept scrolling through most of his posts and found myself enjoying every single one. His writing had a certain rawness, a quiet intelligence, and a dry wit that I loved. So, I followed him on Facebook. He kept writing. I kept reading and liking his posts.

One day, he put up a post saying he was going to make his profile private and only those who liked that post would continue seeing his updates. I hit like immediately. Not just because I enjoyed his writing, but also because I discovered we shared a mutual dislike for a certain political party. That just made the connection feel a little more personal.

His post about going private on Facebook.

What happened next was unexpected.

I received a message from him asking how I had found his profile. He said he had tried every possible combination to figure it out but failed. I explained the whole story, from scrolling through IIT profiles to landing on X’s post and finding him through it. That message turned out to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

This was way back in 2016.

At the time, I had just quit my job and was taking a career break. When he heard that, he asked me to share my resume so he could forward it to some of his friends. I sent him a Word file, and he immediately pointed out a funny mistake, I had written “martial status” instead of “marital status.” He also asked for a PDF version. Since I did not have a personal laptop or system, he converted it himself and passed it on.

That kind gesture stayed with me.

Over time, we kept in touch. We did not speak often, but when we did, the conversations would go on for two hours or more. There was something unfiltered about those chats. No pretence, no judgement, just two people talking about anything under the sun. Over the years, he became someone I looked up to. Someone I trusted.

Sreedish and his wonderful partner in life.

In moments of confusion, especially in personal matters, he was the one I turned to. While I would get stuck in a loop of overthinking and seeing the worst in situations, he had this quiet ability to look at the same problem and find clarity. Talking to him always made things feel lighter. His words would help me take a step back and breathe.

My UK friend, Meta by profession, magic by conversation

Today, he works at Meta in the United Kingdom. Among my close friends, he is simply known as my UK friend.

Yesterday, something strange and wonderful happened. I was lost in a stream of thoughts, and for a moment, he crossed my mind. I smiled to myself and moved on. Just a few minutes later, my phone rang.

Spoke for two hours straight, about life, food, memories, and midlife flourishes.

It was him. We spoke for two hours straight. We touched on everything, from cooking, career choices, and friendships to what we both call our midlife journey. By the end of the call, we agreed that it was not a midlife crisis. It was a midlife flourish. A time of awareness, growth, and quiet transformation.

Looking back, it is beautiful how a simple scroll on Facebook gave me a friend like him. A person I have never met in real life, but who has become such an important part of mine. Friendships like these are rare. They do not shout for attention, but they stay. They grow with time and become steady anchors. So, if you have a Sreedish in your life, someone who understands you, listens with patience, speaks with honesty, and makes you feel lighter, hold on to them. Because not everyone gets to find a friend like that.

Who is your Sreedish? The one you met by chance, but stayed for all the right reasons?