From Sparklers to Signatures

Today is my birthday, and I suddenly felt like digging into my birthday memories. Looking back, it made me smile at how my birthdays have quietly followed me around all these years. Sometimes ignored, sometimes awkward, and sometimes surprisingly sweet.

As a child, I always dreamed of celebrating my birthday in school. I imagined distributing chocolates to all the staff and feeling very important for one whole day. But life had other plans. My birthday always fell during the summer vacation, which meant I was at our farm. A few kind friends would send greeting cards, and those cards felt like treasures. But they would arrive at the only shop in our village, and I would usually receive them a week or two after my birthday.

Back then, life was wonderfully simple. We did not have electricity, television, or a landline phone, so birthdays passed quietly. There were no calls wishing me. There were no reminders, no notifications, and honestly, during vacation I never really checked the date, day or even the time. Every day felt the same and life moved at its pace.

Not store bought, but soul grown

One memory still makes me laugh and sigh at the same time. During one vacation, I had carefully kept aside two sparkler fireworks to light on my birthday. That was my grand celebration plan. Simple joys, right? So on my birthday morning, I remember waking up and praying that this year would be a great one. Funny how seriously I took it back then. I woke up all excited and asked my mum to bring my sparklers. That is when she casually told me that my birthday had already passed the previous day. I refused to believe her and was convinced she was bluffing. I went and checked the calendar, only to discover that she was right. I had missed my own birthday. I remember feeling sad and a little angry at my mum for not reminding me. Looking back now, it feels funny, but at that time it was a real heartbreak. Childhood tragedy, starring two sparklers and one forgotten date.

Another birthday that stayed with me happened at my mother’s ancestral house. Every year, her church feast fell on the same day as my birthday. Her brother got me a cake and some chocolates. I got to cut a cake, and for a child who rarely celebrated birthdays, that felt like winning a small lottery.

A gift that arrived ahead of time

Until I finished college, most of my birthdays were still spent at the farm. No celebration, no candles, just another ordinary day. Then life moved on, as it always does. When I started working, I celebrated a few birthdays with my roommates. But that was also a phase where I did not want to celebrate at all. I just wanted to be left alone. I even hid my birthday from Facebook and other social media platforms, as if my birthday and I had quietly agreed to keep a low profile.And yet, every year, I would still call home and remind my parents that it was my birthday and ask them to wish me. Some habits never change.

No hints, straight request

Then came the Corona days. We were all at home, and strangely, that was when I finally felt like celebrating. One particular year, I bought a cake for myself. I placed it on the table and sang Happy Birthday to myself. My mother and brother were in the same room, busy with their own things, and there I was, happily cutting my own cake. It sounds a little funny now, and honestly, it was. But it was also a quiet moment of choosing joy for myself.

Today again, being my birthday, I had a fair idea of how the day would turn out. I was prepared for it, had accepted it, and was perfectly content with it. A couple of friends wished me. I even messaged a few friends myself, told them it was my birthday, and confidently demanded wishes. Only from the ones with whom I can truly be myself.

No shame in asking for what you deserve

And today, on my birthday, when I decided to choose joy for myself, something unexpected happened.

I told my mother very confidently that I was going to celebrate my birthday and step out to get a cake for myself. I was fully prepared for another quiet celebration. But to my surprise, Peter and Cynthia arrived at my door with their son, smiling like they had just completed a secret mission. Cynthia brought homemade food, knowing very well how much I love her cooking. They came with gifts, warmth, and laughter, and reminded me that sometimes people show up for you in the most beautiful and unexpected ways. Honestly, that feels like an upgrade.

Because friends know best

Some people grew up with balloons, grand birthday parties, and surprise celebrations. Some had dramatic countdowns and flashy posts on social media. But I grew up with farms, greeting cards, and two sparklers that never got their big moment. Life has a sense of humor, though. Now birthdays still arrive quietly, but they bring better gifts, like people who show up with food and surprises. And this year, on my b’day, I even got to sign on a property deed as a witness. Clearly, adulthood has officially arrived when your birthday celebration includes legal documents.

Palayamkodan Pazham Jam and Boarding School Memories

Back in my boarding school days, evenings after class were the happiest moments we all looked forward to. Not just for the evening snacks, but also for the laughter, chit chat, and fun we shared. We were always super hungry after school, and there was one little joy that made those evenings extra special. It was Maya’s homemade banana jam and it tasted absolutely heavenly.

This was where morning and night prayers echoed, where newspapers were read after breakfast, and where countless memories were made.

When the jam was finished, Maya had her own bold way of making sure her favorites came back. She would write letters to her parents saying she was ‘starving‘ and ask them to send more banana jam, meat pickle, and sugar. The funny part was that she would hand over these letters to our hostel warden, fully aware that sister would read them first. Every time the word “starving” appeared, the warden would get angry, but Maya didn’t mind.

This is my school, and that white building behind the Pietà was my hostel. The place where I spent my formative years and polished off endless pazham jam.

Sugar was her weakness because she loved mixing it with the cup of curd we got at lunch. She would often ask us in Malayalam, “Thayir kazhichal velukumo?” – “Will eating curd make me fair?” And we would jokingly, reply, “Kudumbam velukum by sending you sugar!” – a pun that meant, “your family will go broke trying to send you sugar.”

This is my friend Maya, the one who shared the jam recipe. Also, now I realise eating that curd with sugar wasn’t just tasty… it made her glow like this too!

We would spread the jam on anything we could find, but our absolute favourite was good old Marie biscuits. That sweet and sticky delight turned even the plainest snack into something special. It is funny how a little jar of jam, a bold letter, and a few silly jokes could fill our evenings with so much joy. Those moments were simple, yet they shaped the warmth I still carry in my heart today.

The Recipe that was Meant to be Shared

One day, I asked Maya if her amma could share the recipe. To my surprise, and unlike many who guard family recipes like treasure, her mother happily passed it on. No hesitation, no missing steps. Just a generous gift of love.

This rich wine-red shade comes naturally, with no artificial colors added.

Over the years, I have met many people who hesitate to share recipes, sometimes even leaving out an important step or ingredient. But Maya’s amma believed in the joy of giving. That kindness has always stayed with me.

Why Palayankodan Bananas?

This jam is made from a banana variety called Palayankodan, which has a naturally rich wine-red color. No artificial colors are needed. Interestingly, these bananas often do not fetch good prices in the market. So instead of letting them go to waste, we turn them into this beautiful jam. A perfect example of turning something ordinary into something truly special.

More than Just a Jam

Every time I make this jam, I think of Maya. I remember our boarding days, our shared laughter over biscuits and jam, and the warmth of her mother’s gesture.

It is hostel nostalgia spread thick.

I have shared this jam with friends and family over the years, and it never fails to bring a smile on their faces. Because some recipes are more than just food, they are memories. When we share them, we are not just offering a taste, but also a little piece of our heart.

Would You Like the Recipe?

If you would like to try making this homemade banana jam, I would be more than happy to share the recipe. It is simple, special, and filled with love. People who have already tasted the banana jam from our home, do share your thoughts in the comments.

Over to You

• Have you ever tasted banana jam made from Palayankodan bananas?

• Do you think recipes should be shared freely, or kept as family secrets?

• Which food instantly brings back memories of your childhood?